I Want To See...

...a regional comprised of LSU, Viginia Tech, Oregon and Delaware. We could call it the Turducken regional.

:)

This Is One Reason Why I Don't Drink

'Maiyahi' Fucked-up Japanese Style

Way, way too much saki.

Cat Shaming

Or 'Buckaroo' - apparently - in the UK. My cat is SO in trouble.

HA! I Know Some People Who Need One Of These

In my mom's case, she needs 9 of them.

Build Stuff Out Of Fluff

I should get some royalties here...

People Who Drive Saturns...

...are almost invariably bad drivers.

Just something I have noticed.

Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn', For The Hearing Impaired

Good stuff.

South Park Is Just So Wrong

I don't get it, either. But I still laughed.

Sweep!

Sure, it took 11 innings, so what? 7-6.

Fuck Yeah!!!!

Noles beat the Tarheels with a walk-off homerun by Ryne Malone in the bottom of the 9th. Trailing 3-5, 2 outs, 2 men on, 2 strikes and one ball. BAM!!! Instant legend.

We have now taken the first two games from the vaunted Heels pitching staff, and now they are forced to reckon with essentially three starters left for us in our pen for tomorrow.

This really helps our regional prospects as well. Fucking awesome.

In Honor Of The Newest Animal, I Give You...Well...You'll See!

I haven't done that particular activity in 20 years at least.

Well Then

In The Year 3000

I need to write this crap down. A la the Conan O'Brien 'In the year 2000' bits, I thought we could do this at FSU baseball games.

In the year 3000...

* Mike Martin will still be coaching FSU baseball.

* Mike Martin Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. will be coaching 3rd base.

* Chip Baker will be short.

* A two strike bunt with two outs will still be a bad idea.

* The home run ball that Danny Wardell hit at the Saturday Miami game in 2005 will finally come back down to earth.

* You will finally reach the head of the line at the Aramark concession booth. (pause) Your bill will be $8000. (pause) For a small Coke. (pause) With lots of ice.

* The Animals will still be fat.

* Mongo

* The Boston Red Sox will finally win another World Series. (Do the math)

* FSU will win its 347th consecutive national championship with a team of Shane Robinson clones.

* Miami will be using satellite photography to steal signs.

* The last remaining Miami fan who actually attended the University of Miami will pass away.

* In an effort to improve the accuracy of strike zone calls, the ACC will replace its umpires with giant sacks of potatos.

* Intravenous pork.

Suggestions welcome.

This Is So Stupid Its Funny

Bang.

Sand Storm In Iraq

Got this link from a former co-worker in the Marine reserves. Amazingly close to the genuine Hollywood version of a sandstorm from movies like the Mummy. ;)

OMFG!!!

That's the best baby toy evar!

Speaking of Headd...

Its a damn shame that we had the double-header on Sunday, cause I might have thought of this stuff if I had had time to think. Anyway, I thought this would be funny, and I'm writing it out in case I get a chance to use it at the ACC tourney. Basically, I'd do my own player announcement for the UVa team:

At catcher, Scott Headd
At first base, Pierre Latrine
At second, Frenchy Toilet (pronounced: twa-lay)
At short stop, Rafael LaVatory
At third base, Neville Watercloset
In left field, Ian Chamberpot
In center field, Thomas Crapper (history nerd reference) or Richard John
In Right field, Paul Portolet

And flushing out the roster for Virginia - although we don't remember adding him to the line-up last night - Steven Corn.


I slay me.

More for Mr Headd:

Hey Headd, why do you have an extra D on the end of your name? Is that the only way you'll ever have a chance of seeing a pair of D's up close?

Hey Headd, who's pitching for you tonight? Shoulders?

Hey Headd, if someone pats you on the head, do you feel it twice?

Rag Head

Yeah so I normally do a long 'rag arm' when opposing pitchers have a 3-1 count with less than two outs. Occasionally, I switch things up and say something other than arm. Well, yesterday vs. Virginia - who have a catcher named Headd - Terry the loudmouth says into my ear as I was in the 'raaaag' part, 'head!'. Not thinking (lack of oxygen you see), I said head instead of arm.

Oopsie :)

I'm sure we'll catch flak for that, but I blame Terry. :)