Today's installment focuses on Shamwow. This comes up not because the product is particularly stupid, but rather because of the incredibly piss poor quality of the commercial. When we saw this thing on TV, my fiancee and I both kept waiting for the Energizer Bunny to come rolling across the screen. The production value is that bad.
Then there is the name: Shamwow. All I think was how appropriately named the product is...it's a sham alright. More like shamwtf.
26 December 2007
23 December 2007
Attack of teh stupids!!!!
Just read it. This country has completely lost its handle on common sense. Banning an old guy from a mall for life because he couldn't find his car? C'mon, they should be pretty impressed if the old guy can find his own ass, let alone his car.
Jesus.
Jesus.
07 December 2007
Stupid Christmas Season Mail Order Products. Part 2
Tonight's product is a Billy Mays joint called Mighty Putty. You can watch Billy do his infomercial thing on the web page. $20 plus $9 shipping.
The product itself isn't the usual craptastic fare you see in these ads, it is actually a neat product. It is basically an epoxy putty.
If you know anything about epoxy you know how awesome the stuff is. You have a compound that, by itself, is uninteresting. But, when you add a specific catalyst to the compound, you get a reaction leading to a new compound that can be ridiculously strong. Think of it kind of like cement. Dry Portland cement is just a useless powder, but add water to it and you have an amazing construction tool. Similarly, epoxies are used throughout industry as adhesives, coatings, fillers and so forth.
So, the problem with Mighty Putty isn't that it is a stupid product, it's that it is a product pitched to do things that, while possible, aren't necessarily appropriate. One suggested use is as a filler on a broken tile. Well, yeah, it will fill the missing tile piece, and it will be strong as hell, but your floor will look like a beat up car patched up with Bondo. You're really better off replacing the entire tile with a new one that won't look like ass.
Another suggested use is as a replacement for the missing portion of a cup handle. They tout it by saying you can 'mold it to any shape.' That's true, as that is the basic nature of a putty, but again we have an aesthetic problem. Your coffee cup is a Bondo masterpiece. Great. Why not just get a new coffee cup? They are made of fired clay, and are cheap. Oh and they don't look stupid. And of course we have no idea how the putty handles being washed, and we don't know if there is a possible health risk being used on a food container. I'll just get a new cup, thanks.
Still another suggestion is using the putty as an adhesive for shelving. While the stuff is certainly adequate as an adhesive, you can get a box of literally hundreds of perfectly adequate screws for less money that will do the same job. If you just need adhesive, there are also other options available that might be better, cleaner, cheaper and easier to use. Various Liquid Nails products, for instance.
They show the putty being used for various pipe leak fixes, which is really not a bad use of the product either. The problem there is that it is an ugly fix. As a stop-gap measure in an emergency, it'd be fine. But in the long run, you'd want to have a more professional fix done. Think about a home inspector seeing the sink drain putty fix they picture. Not good. They're gonna tell you to have it fixed right before you sell.
So, yeah, it'll do everything advertised, but in most cases, why would you want to? The real kicker here is that you can get essentially the same exact product from Lowes - Oatey Epoxy Putty - for under $5. If you honestly think you'll ever need something like this, just go to the hardware store and save yourself $25.
The product itself isn't the usual craptastic fare you see in these ads, it is actually a neat product. It is basically an epoxy putty.
If you know anything about epoxy you know how awesome the stuff is. You have a compound that, by itself, is uninteresting. But, when you add a specific catalyst to the compound, you get a reaction leading to a new compound that can be ridiculously strong. Think of it kind of like cement. Dry Portland cement is just a useless powder, but add water to it and you have an amazing construction tool. Similarly, epoxies are used throughout industry as adhesives, coatings, fillers and so forth.
So, the problem with Mighty Putty isn't that it is a stupid product, it's that it is a product pitched to do things that, while possible, aren't necessarily appropriate. One suggested use is as a filler on a broken tile. Well, yeah, it will fill the missing tile piece, and it will be strong as hell, but your floor will look like a beat up car patched up with Bondo. You're really better off replacing the entire tile with a new one that won't look like ass.
Another suggested use is as a replacement for the missing portion of a cup handle. They tout it by saying you can 'mold it to any shape.' That's true, as that is the basic nature of a putty, but again we have an aesthetic problem. Your coffee cup is a Bondo masterpiece. Great. Why not just get a new coffee cup? They are made of fired clay, and are cheap. Oh and they don't look stupid. And of course we have no idea how the putty handles being washed, and we don't know if there is a possible health risk being used on a food container. I'll just get a new cup, thanks.
Still another suggestion is using the putty as an adhesive for shelving. While the stuff is certainly adequate as an adhesive, you can get a box of literally hundreds of perfectly adequate screws for less money that will do the same job. If you just need adhesive, there are also other options available that might be better, cleaner, cheaper and easier to use. Various Liquid Nails products, for instance.
They show the putty being used for various pipe leak fixes, which is really not a bad use of the product either. The problem there is that it is an ugly fix. As a stop-gap measure in an emergency, it'd be fine. But in the long run, you'd want to have a more professional fix done. Think about a home inspector seeing the sink drain putty fix they picture. Not good. They're gonna tell you to have it fixed right before you sell.
So, yeah, it'll do everything advertised, but in most cases, why would you want to? The real kicker here is that you can get essentially the same exact product from Lowes - Oatey Epoxy Putty - for under $5. If you honestly think you'll ever need something like this, just go to the hardware store and save yourself $25.
06 December 2007
Stupid Christmas Season Mail Order Products. Part 1
Well, it is that time of year again. No, not the Holiday season, the stupid-holiday-product season. Every year as far back as I can remember the TV air waves become inundated with commercials schlepping the most ridiculous crap imaginable. It begins, naturally, right around Black Friday, and persists until a day or two after New Years.
The hope of these TV shucksters, of course, is to take advantage of people who's judgment is impaired by eggnog flavored rum, those too lazy to put thought into gifts, and the stupid. The stupid above all, really. Invariably the commercials for these trinkets attempt to make the products seem like the best thing since sliced bread. In reality, they are usually only marginally better than sliced fingers. Your own sliced fingers. Sliced fingers on your good hand.
The sad thing is that these people will make money. A lot of money. Because there are a lot of stupid people on this planet. The crapola they sell is grossly overpriced for what it is. But even if they were only breaking even on the product, they've built in profit by charging your retarded ass $8 shipping and handling for something that only costs them maybe $2 to ship....and handle, whatever that means.
So, I thought I would chronicle the crap that I see this year and today I will start with Twin Draft Guard. OMG!!! WEATHER STRIPPING!!! ORGASM!!!!
This piece of shit is essentially a towel rolled up from two ends and slid under a door or window. It costs $19 + $8 shipping. Of course, the obligatory 'if you order right now we'll double the number of' spiel is there, so you get two of these glorified rolled up towels for that price. And, yeah, they also throw in the obligatory bonus 'free' unrelated product. In this case an 'over the door hanger'. They somehow come up with a value of $30 for this particular add-on. What a great deal! Three pieces of junk for a mere $27!
Wait a second. I can get 17 feet of good quality weather stripping at Lowes for $6. That's enough to seal the bottom of several doors. Even better, I can use it to seal the sides and top of the door as well, since air doesn't only come in from the bottom. The amazing Twin Draft Guard? Yeah it can only seal the bottom. And the weather stripping is permanently affixed to the door or window, so there is no chance of it coming flying out from underneath the door when you open it quickly. TDG isn't affixed, it is just slid under the door. A loose seal and physics will guarantee that you'll be re-setting it every time you open the door. Fun!
And a quick look at Lowes also turns up a comparable over the door hanger to the one in the commercial for a whopping $10. What?! Surely it has to be worth three times as much! The commercial says so! Right.
So going with Lowes and barely shopping, I have spent $16, compared to the $27 I would have spent on TDG had I been born without a brain. And I got more product and a better functioning product. Common sense for the win!
The hope of these TV shucksters, of course, is to take advantage of people who's judgment is impaired by eggnog flavored rum, those too lazy to put thought into gifts, and the stupid. The stupid above all, really. Invariably the commercials for these trinkets attempt to make the products seem like the best thing since sliced bread. In reality, they are usually only marginally better than sliced fingers. Your own sliced fingers. Sliced fingers on your good hand.
The sad thing is that these people will make money. A lot of money. Because there are a lot of stupid people on this planet. The crapola they sell is grossly overpriced for what it is. But even if they were only breaking even on the product, they've built in profit by charging your retarded ass $8 shipping and handling for something that only costs them maybe $2 to ship....and handle, whatever that means.
So, I thought I would chronicle the crap that I see this year and today I will start with Twin Draft Guard. OMG!!! WEATHER STRIPPING!!! ORGASM!!!!
This piece of shit is essentially a towel rolled up from two ends and slid under a door or window. It costs $19 + $8 shipping. Of course, the obligatory 'if you order right now we'll double the number of' spiel is there, so you get two of these glorified rolled up towels for that price. And, yeah, they also throw in the obligatory bonus 'free' unrelated product. In this case an 'over the door hanger'. They somehow come up with a value of $30 for this particular add-on. What a great deal! Three pieces of junk for a mere $27!
Wait a second. I can get 17 feet of good quality weather stripping at Lowes for $6. That's enough to seal the bottom of several doors. Even better, I can use it to seal the sides and top of the door as well, since air doesn't only come in from the bottom. The amazing Twin Draft Guard? Yeah it can only seal the bottom. And the weather stripping is permanently affixed to the door or window, so there is no chance of it coming flying out from underneath the door when you open it quickly. TDG isn't affixed, it is just slid under the door. A loose seal and physics will guarantee that you'll be re-setting it every time you open the door. Fun!
And a quick look at Lowes also turns up a comparable over the door hanger to the one in the commercial for a whopping $10. What?! Surely it has to be worth three times as much! The commercial says so! Right.
So going with Lowes and barely shopping, I have spent $16, compared to the $27 I would have spent on TDG had I been born without a brain. And I got more product and a better functioning product. Common sense for the win!
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