In The Year 3000

I need to write this crap down. A la the Conan O'Brien 'In the year 2000' bits, I thought we could do this at FSU baseball games.

In the year 3000...

* Mike Martin will still be coaching FSU baseball.

* Mike Martin Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr. will be coaching 3rd base.

* Chip Baker will be short.

* A two strike bunt with two outs will still be a bad idea.

* The home run ball that Danny Wardell hit at the Saturday Miami game in 2005 will finally come back down to earth.

* You will finally reach the head of the line at the Aramark concession booth. (pause) Your bill will be $8000. (pause) For a small Coke. (pause) With lots of ice.

* The Animals will still be fat.

* Mongo

* The Boston Red Sox will finally win another World Series. (Do the math)

* FSU will win its 347th consecutive national championship with a team of Shane Robinson clones.

* Miami will be using satellite photography to steal signs.

* The last remaining Miami fan who actually attended the University of Miami will pass away.

* In an effort to improve the accuracy of strike zone calls, the ACC will replace its umpires with giant sacks of potatos.

* Intravenous pork.

Suggestions welcome.