22 November 2005
15 November 2005
12 November 2005
Vin Diesel
1) Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
2) If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
3) There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
4) When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
5) Helicopters were invented after someone witnessed Vin Diesel pivoting while aroused.
6) There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
7) In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
8) Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
9) Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
10) Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
11) Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
12) Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
13) Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
14) When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
15) Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
16) When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
17) If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
18) Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
19) Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
20) Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
21) It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
22) Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
23) On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
24) When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
25) In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
26) Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
27) Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.
28) Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.
29) You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
30) During a stay at Neverland Ranch in the 80's, Vin Diesel was awoken by Michael Jackson who was trying to sneak into his bed. Vin punched Jackson so hard that he knocked the black right off of him.
2) If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
3) There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
4) When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
5) Helicopters were invented after someone witnessed Vin Diesel pivoting while aroused.
6) There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
7) In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
8) Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
9) Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
10) Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
11) Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
12) Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
13) Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
14) When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
15) Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
16) When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
17) If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
18) Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
19) Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
20) Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
21) It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
22) Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
23) On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
24) When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
25) In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
26) Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
27) Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.
28) Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.
29) You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
30) During a stay at Neverland Ranch in the 80's, Vin Diesel was awoken by Michael Jackson who was trying to sneak into his bed. Vin punched Jackson so hard that he knocked the black right off of him.
11 November 2005
07 November 2005
28 October 2005
22 October 2005
18 October 2005
OK This Is Pretty Stupid
No clue why you'd want to put TWO engines into a crappy ass VW GTI, but whatever. The bitch asplodes. Best part is the choice of music they used at the end.
11 October 2005
28 September 2005
Now Comes The Hard Part
Indictments are nice, but convictions are better. Hopefully this will be the first in a long line of indictments for the crooked sons of bitches we have in Washington.
This country will be better off with more politicians in jail.
This country will be better off with more politicians in jail.
Pretty Teh Awesome!
This thing is pretty cool. I've seen another vehicle protype with a similar tilting principle, and also three wheeled, but inverted with one unpowered wheel in front and two powered wheels in back. I tend to think this guy's approach is better as it gives more forward stability, which is important for turning.
I'd love to see stuff like this get mass produced, but Big Auto doesn't care about things like innovation, safety, fuel efficiency, convenience, affordability....
Oh well.
I'd love to see stuff like this get mass produced, but Big Auto doesn't care about things like innovation, safety, fuel efficiency, convenience, affordability....
Oh well.
26 September 2005
Gee, Ya Think?
$600 sho' is a lot of money...for me to poop on!
Actually, 600 bucks is almost enough to fill up your car's tank with gas. For a week.
Actually, 600 bucks is almost enough to fill up your car's tank with gas. For a week.
13 September 2005
Bush Finally Accepts Fault For Something
Its a start. Now lets see if he'll accept fault for all of his other fuckups.
Probably not.
Of course, it took the prodding of the media, the outrage of the nation, and of course dismal polling results to get him to this point. Now it is up to the public to keep the pressure on this asshat and finally hold him accountable for the unbelievable level of incompetence, cronyism and outright corruption he has wrought on this country.
He has managed to make Bill Clinton look like a decent president.
How the FUCK do you make Bill Clinton look good!? Jesus.
Probably not.
Of course, it took the prodding of the media, the outrage of the nation, and of course dismal polling results to get him to this point. Now it is up to the public to keep the pressure on this asshat and finally hold him accountable for the unbelievable level of incompetence, cronyism and outright corruption he has wrought on this country.
He has managed to make Bill Clinton look like a decent president.
How the FUCK do you make Bill Clinton look good!? Jesus.
23 August 2005
14 August 2005
12 August 2005
We ARE God
You want to know why religious fundamentalists hate science so much? It is because little by little we have attained 'powers' once only attributed to the supernatural. We are cracking the codes of the universe, slowly but surely, and making the religious concept of God obsolete as a byproduct.
Think about it, if we were to somehow go back in time with the technology we have now...one thousand, two thousand...ten thousand years ago...we would be as gods to the people we met.
Think about it, if we were to somehow go back in time with the technology we have now...one thousand, two thousand...ten thousand years ago...we would be as gods to the people we met.
05 August 2005
Mark McHale
Mark McHale is FSU's new offensive line coach. We got to listen to him speak last night at a College Avenue Seminoles meeting. He's a good speaker, and seemed like a straight shooter. I left there feeling a lot more confident in Bowden's choice for the position and for the future of the team.
There was a Q&A potion, and of course someone asked a question insinuating that he would be the real play caller with Jeff Bowden as a figurehead (which is what everyone in the world suspects is the case). To his credit, McHale handled this question appropriately I thought. He said (rough quote) 'Jeff Bowden is the offensive coordinator, I am the offensive line coach, and Jeff Bowden will be calling plays.' He said it in a fairly forceful way too. If he had said it in a sort of *nudge nudge wink wink* way, I think that would have been bad for the program in general. When you do something like that and players see it, it sows a seed of dissent in their minds and they lose respect for the chain of command. Same thing for other coaches hearing that. And of course, if media and fans get ahold of it...well pretty soon you've got a whole field full of dissent, and that's not what you want to harvest. We've had enough infighting over the past few years, and I hope that stops now.
Someone also asked him if he would comment about what kinds of things were wrong with the offensive line last year, and again to his credit, he wouldn't answer. Everyone knows we had ..uh...issues last year on the line, but McHale didn't spend time bashing someone who wasn't there to defend himseld, and I respect that. He did seem pretty focused on moving forward and teaching his style of O-Line play with zone blocking schemes and whatnot, and he seemed very competent.
I asked him if we might see some spread offense this year and he jumped all over that, shooting it down. His point though was that with a beat up line and two redshirt freshmen QB's, we're probably going to be seeing a very simple offense. Spread offenses are not simple. I did talk to him a bit more about it after the meeting and he seemed pretty excited about the future once we've got a healthy deep line and more experienced QB's. His eyes lit up when talking about the atheletes he has to work with, which are clearly some of the best he's had to work with.
So, so far I like the guy. He's nice and he's funny, which I think will mesh in well with the staff and players we have.
There was a Q&A potion, and of course someone asked a question insinuating that he would be the real play caller with Jeff Bowden as a figurehead (which is what everyone in the world suspects is the case). To his credit, McHale handled this question appropriately I thought. He said (rough quote) 'Jeff Bowden is the offensive coordinator, I am the offensive line coach, and Jeff Bowden will be calling plays.' He said it in a fairly forceful way too. If he had said it in a sort of *nudge nudge wink wink* way, I think that would have been bad for the program in general. When you do something like that and players see it, it sows a seed of dissent in their minds and they lose respect for the chain of command. Same thing for other coaches hearing that. And of course, if media and fans get ahold of it...well pretty soon you've got a whole field full of dissent, and that's not what you want to harvest. We've had enough infighting over the past few years, and I hope that stops now.
Someone also asked him if he would comment about what kinds of things were wrong with the offensive line last year, and again to his credit, he wouldn't answer. Everyone knows we had ..uh...issues last year on the line, but McHale didn't spend time bashing someone who wasn't there to defend himseld, and I respect that. He did seem pretty focused on moving forward and teaching his style of O-Line play with zone blocking schemes and whatnot, and he seemed very competent.
I asked him if we might see some spread offense this year and he jumped all over that, shooting it down. His point though was that with a beat up line and two redshirt freshmen QB's, we're probably going to be seeing a very simple offense. Spread offenses are not simple. I did talk to him a bit more about it after the meeting and he seemed pretty excited about the future once we've got a healthy deep line and more experienced QB's. His eyes lit up when talking about the atheletes he has to work with, which are clearly some of the best he's had to work with.
So, so far I like the guy. He's nice and he's funny, which I think will mesh in well with the staff and players we have.
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